How do you respond when things don’t go your way? Do you quit, lash out, or throw in the towel? Life is full of unexpected twists and turns. Some small, some big. Since we can’t avoid these surprise scenarios, we must focus on adjusting our response to them.
When Things Don’t Go Your Way: 10 Tips
1. Take a Moment
When things don’t go your way, take a moment. Don’t allow your emotional reaction to cause you to react immediately. Instead, take a moment to gather yourself, calm down, and consider your next move.
2. Think
When things don’t go our way, our initial reaction is likely emotional. We feel frustrated, surprised, or rattled that things aren’t going as planned. After letting the emotions settle, take the time to think. Think through the current situation, consider what you can control, and think through the next best action to take.
3. Keep Perspective
This one has been huge for me lately. Though we can’t do what we had hoped, what can we do? Keeping perspective allows you to keep everything in context, not exaggerating the change. Change tends to throw many people off, especially unexpected change; however, keeping the change in perspective will really help us to process it in a healthy way.
4. Pray
Taking a moment to pray and express yourself to God is key in processing unexpected circumstances. Praying allows you to express yourself fully and honestly, while also taking in God’s perspective. When we pray, we are essentially saying that we need help. Humbling ourselves to God and His Word opens us up to seeing this His way. His ways are above our ways [Isaiah 55:8-9]. Praying allows us to see things through a spiritual lens, and not just from our own selfish viewpoint.
5. Rejoice!
After walking through the first 4 steps, we should be at a place of being able to rejoice! We’ve calmed down, thought through things, gained perspective, prayed, and now we ought to be able to rejoice. Though this didn’t go our way, consider the blessing in it. What have you gained, learned, maybe even been protected from?
With God, there is always a blessing.
In those situations when we may not be able to easily see the blessing and rejoice, we must:
6. Trust
As children of God, our relationship with Him is based on trust. Our faith is dependent upon our ability to trust Him. We have to know that there may be times where we can’t fully understand His plan or His aim in a situation, however, it is then that we must simply trust. We trust Him by yielding to the circumstances that He’s placed us in, knowing that He will work all things for our good [Romans 8:28]. It may not feel good, but God will work it for our good.
7. Grow
God is always concerned with our growth. We tend to be more concerned with our comfort. Comfort does not grow us; actually, comfort often hinders growth. When we find ourselves in a season where things aren’t going our way, it may be that God has placed us in a season of growth. We then, must cooperate by adjusting our mindset. We must begin to view these uncomfortable situations as opportunities to grow. This is a sure way to spiritually and effectively maneuver through unexpected, undesirable circumstances.
8. Be Thankful
Some things may be not going your way, but some things are. Consider what you do have, consider how far God has already brought you, consider the blessings that you now enjoy that were once prayers. If we really take everything into consideration, we will find many reasons to be thankful. Everything may not be exactly what you’d desire, but consider the many comforts, resources, and blessings that you are able to enjoy.
“Do all things without murmurings and disputings:
– Philippians 2:14
9. Plan
Just because things aren’t going your way now, doesn’t mean things won’t change. Life is all about change. So, don’t lose hope and throw in the towel. Instead, plan. Plan for what you will do, when you can do it. Envision your plans, your goals, your desires. Thank God for His perfect plan for you and pray that you will walk along the path that He has especially for you.
10. Prepare
Planning and preparing go hand-in-hand. As you plan be sure to take the next step and prepare. Planning is somewhat idealistic, whereas preparing is practical. As you prepare for change and the next seasons of life, what can you do now? Of course, this will vary based on your goals, however, it could include: clearing out and organizing, downgrading, adjusting your finances/wardrobe/relationships, reading, learning a new skill, updating your website, etc.
When things don’t go your way, don’t give up or allow frustrations to overtake you. The key is to respond in a spiritual, healthy way; continuing to move forward. One thing I like to tell myself is that:
Even when things don’t go my way, they still go.
We just have to humble ourselves, accept that we’re not in control, and focus on doing what we can do based on the situation we find ourselves in. Staying positive is essential. Know that things will change. They always do.
With love,
