What I've Learned from 2 Years of Marriage

As we celebrate 2 years of marriage today, I pray that I’m able to share from my experience in a way that will: encourage you, inspire you, and help you to view marriage in a healthy way. I can’t discuss marriage without discussing God because God designed marriage. Even though we live in a world that doesn’t give God the credit and praise that He deserves, I have to give Him all the credit.

It is because of God that I am married and it is because of God that I will stay married. Why? Because God has established marriage. We must remain in God in order to even view marriage the right way and we must remain in Him in order to protect the marriage that He so beautifully designed.

What I’ve learned from 2 years of marriage:

Marriage is growth.

We say that marriage is work, and it is, but that work equates to growth. I’m in awe at the many ways that God has grown both me and my husband. As you work at it, it gets stronger, and things get easier. Things that were once hard are now easy. Things that would cause frustrations are not even relevant. Why? Because we work at it and we grow, and our marriage is strengthened.

Marriage is of God.

The decision to marry can be based on nothing but the leading of God. Before you say I do, you must push your feelings to the side. Feelings are fickle and so inconsistent. You must seek the wise, all-knowing God in order to know His will. Follow His leading. God knows best and He always knows and wants what’s best for us. Don’t depend on anything but God in order to decide when, who, and if you should marry. Marriage is not always easy, but when you are in the will of God, nothing can stand against you. Though weapons may form, they will never prosper if you are doing what God would have you to do. Trust and follow God above everything else.

“No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord.”

– Isaiah 54:17

Marriage is a mirror.

Marriage will show you yourself in ways you will never expect! There is more wrong with you than you think. If you think your spouse is always wrong and you are always right then you are deceiving yourself. It is so easy to constantly blame others while lying to ourselves about our own behavior. Resist this tendency. You must humbly look in the mirror and deal with what you see. The key is loving each other through the shortcomings. No one is perfect and one spouse is not better than the other. We are both in need of continuous grace.

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves.”

– Philippians 2:3

Marriage is humbling.

Marriage strips you of your independence, your individual thoughts, desires, and plans. You no longer independently do as you please, you are now joined with another whom you must consider. That is humbling, but it is also gratifying. Just as you are letting go of things to join with another, your spouse is doing the same, and when two people let everything else go and grab on to the Lord and each other it is so beautiful.

It brings an intimacy like no other. In other words, we’re all we have. Everything else is extra. You can’t feel as if your spouse completes you, because you should have been healthy and complete with God before marrying, but you should feel content & secure with your spouse. A nothing else matters, come what may attitude.

“Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content.”

– Philippians 4:11

Marriage is progressive.

God is progressive so the married couple that abides in God will also progress in their marriage. God is far from stagnant and mediocre, therefore, those who walk with Him will also be far from stagnant and mediocre. We should always be working on something in our marriage, and it’s much more important to focus on the spiritual blessings than the physical blessings. The spiritual will prepare you for the physical. For example, we should not always be praying for more money or more material items, but instead we should be praying that God grows us up into Christ in every way. As we continue to grow in Christ we will progress in every other area of our lives. Our marriage will progress as we progress in our relationship with God.

Marriage is a blessing.

2 years of marriage has already allowed me to realize that our marriage is one of the greatest blessings I’ve ever received. If you prepare yourself for marriage, walk closely with God in order to protect your marriage, your marriage will bless you in more ways than you can imagine. I can honestly admit that within these 2 years of marriage, I’ve felt God’s presence covering us, protecting us, and providing for us since day 1.

No doubt it’s not always easy and while the marriage will face attacks in various ways, God has allowed me to see that while others fight against marriage, He fights for marriage.