Forget the fairytales, marriage is not about perfection, but rather repentance & forgiveness. If we are going to enjoy the blessing of marriage, we must first understand the critical role of repentance & forgiveness.
I’ve been married for 20 days short of a year and 1 thing I’ve learned so far is that no marriage can thrive without repentance and forgiveness. Honestly, it’s a big part of what it’s all about.
Since no one is perfect, every married couple will face things that they may not have expected. We all may face different things, but the fact is that we will all face some things within our marriage.
Face it: Your husband is not perfect, and never will be. Your wife is not perfect, and never will be. Though it’s sometimes hard to see & acknowledge, the problem is not always them. Sometimes (and often times) the problem is within us. We all fall short (Romans 3:23).
The key though, is in repentance & forgiveness: 3 TIPS
1. When we mess up we must be mature enough to take ownership of our wrong. We must confess, repent, and change our behavior. Confession is hard, but it is so worth it. After it comes growth. God promises us that as we confess, He will forgive us & cleanse us from all unrighteousness (I John 1:9). Confession starts the process of changing. We have to lose the attitude of “This is just how I am.” Marriage is about growing & compromising. You’re no longer solo.
2. We have to truly listen to our spouse. We can’t keep our mind overly occupied with how we see it or even how we feel, we must truly put ourselves on the back burner and listen to the concerns of our mate. Often, issues are prolonged or simply ignored due to selfishness. If we are going to enjoy the blessing of marriage, we have to grow out of selfishness into selflessness.
3. Lastly, we have to forgive! We can’t hold grudges or remind our spouses of their faults. As hard as it can be, we must truly forgive and more forward. One thing that helps with forgiving is to simply consider all that God, through Christ, has forgiven us for. That should do it. We’re all in need of forgiveness, and in marriage it is essential.
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
– I Corinthians 13:4-7
Read MARRIAGE: What I’ve Learned in 4 Years + 1 Day
