MARRIAGE: What I've Learned in 4 Years + 1 Day

Yesterday marked 4 years of marriage for us. Even as I write this I’m humbled and praying that the Lord gives me the words to share. I appreciate writing the anniversary posts because it allows me to reflect & simultaneously share with you what I’ve learned.

Some of you are already married and will be encouraged by this, but I know others aren’t yet married so I want to share with you to provide insight that will assist you on your journey toward marriage.

4 Learnings from 4 Years + 1 Day of Marriage

1.Making the decision to marry my husband was the second best decision I’ve ever made in my life. Of course, placing my faith in Christ was #1. It is impossible for me to discuss marriage without discussing Christ because God instituted marriage and is the head of it so really when you picture a healthy, sound marriage you should picture Christ, the husband, and the wife.

Christ makes the marriage complete. Without Christ as the center of a marriage the foundation is weak and a weak foundation will not withstand the storms of life.

It is imperative for Christ to be the foundation of the marriage.

2. Marriage is a tool. I’m humbled as I continue to come to the realization that God uses everything for His glory. Everything. This includes marriage. God uses the marriage as a tool in each spouse’s life. Marriage reveals what’s inside of us, often by the strengths and weaknesses of the other spouse. If there is a lack of spiritual sight and maturity then this is where many couples fold, falter and fight; because they only see each other’s weaknesses- unable to see their own.

Within a marriage it is imperative to see yourself. You must come to a place of realizing that it’s not just your spouse with the problems- you have your own unique set of issues, too. When each party within a marriage comes to realize their own depravity outside of Christ? BLESSING!

3. Marriage must be prioritized and protected. Let me say this: If you do not prioritize your marriage, you will have issues. If you do not protect your marriage, you will have issues. If you are not wholeheartedly committed and dedicated to your marriage, you are opening the door for disaster.

Marriage is spiritual and we have a spiritual enemy, Satan, who seeks to destroy marriage. It’s not personal, but rather it’s all spiritual. Marriage is of God and Satan aims to destroy anything that is of God, so it is imperative to have spiritual understanding and sight so that you know how to properly, effectively and spiritually fight for your marriage.

Your dedication to your marriage will be tested. Worth repeating: Your dedication to your marriage will be tested.

If you are weak in your dedication to your marriage, others will take notice this, and you have put yourself and your marriage in a dangerous position. Marriage has to be respected and in order to have and maintain a healthy marriage you first and foremost have to respect your marriage which will protect your marriage in many, many ways.

4. Marriage is a blessing. As we’ve made it through 4 years of marriage, I’m humbled by the many ways that our marriage has blessed me. Marriage provides a safe and secure place. The marriage must be a space of grace. As 2 become 1 through marriage, the 2 become better because they are both gaining the strengths that their mate has, that they don’t naturally have on their own.

It is imperative to accept each other’s differences, accepting that it was a strategic move by God to place you two together as uniquely as He did.

Every good gift comes from God (James 1:17) and today I thank God for the beautiful gift of marriage that He has blessed us with and the grace that He bestowed upon us to allow us to make it through 4 years- coming out stronger, wiser, and more spiritually anchored than ever before.

Before you go,

3 Key Scriptures as you Fight for Marriage:

“Put on the whole armor of God, that ye may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil.” – Ephesians 6:11
“The thief cometh not, but for to steal, and to kill, and to destroy: I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” – John 10:10
“Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:” – I Peter 5:8