People desire marriage for various reasons. While happiness is certainly an aspect of marriage, keep in mind it is only a part. No doubt you should marry someone who makes you happy, but you do so realizing that they won’t always make you happy. How could they? No one is perfect. This leads us to the realization that: Marriage is not merely about happiness.
Marriage is about so much more than happiness, but so often we have in our minds that marriage itself should make us happy. Or, we have the fantasy, Disney story mindset that marriage is ALL about happiness. Both of these are unrealistic expectations to have in a marriage.
Marriage is of God so it is no doubt blessed, but it’s not always easy. It requires work and more importantly it requires us to look at ourselves to ensure that we have the right attitude about it. So often we don’t view marriage the way we should.
As I write, I’m asking myself the following question:
What is marriage about then?
1. Marriage is about love. “And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us,” – Ephesians 5:2
2. Marriage is about safety. “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband.” – I Corinthians 7:2
3. Marriage is about growth. “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things,” – Ephesians 4:15
4. Most importantly: Marriage is about God. “And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man.” – Genesis 2:22
Marriage provides us an opportunity to demonstrate the love of God on earth.
And lastly, and I say this cautiously, marriage is apart of our life but not our entire life. Yes, you are one with your spouse and you must protect your spouse and your marriage at all costs. You must, however, also nurture yourself in a healthy way so that you are able to contribute to a healthy marriage- not make it harder on both you and your spouse.
Basically: Don’t expect to get all of your needs met by your marriage. That’s unrealistic. Instead, do those things that will keep your spirit, soul, and body healthy and then you are able to work toward keeping your marriage healthy.
The healthier you are, the happier your marriage will be.
Be grateful for the moments that your spouse makes you happy, but understand that he or she is not perfect so there will also come many times when he/she won’t make you happy. When that time comes, don’t act as if something strange is happening to you.
You don’t always make him/her happy, do you? Of course not. No one in a marriage is perfect.
So, the next time you feel yourself getting angry by your spouse’s actions remember that marriage is not merely about happiness.
Read PREPARING FOR MARRIAGE: Is he a life partner?
