PARENTING: Teaching Responsibility

In parenting, teaching responsibility is a big deal. Responsibility is a foundational principle for healthy, effective living. It provides the framework from which we live; affecting our mindset, relationships, finances, jobs, health, families, etc. Understanding the significance of responsibility, as well as the impact that it has on life, should motivate us to really grow in teaching responsibility as we raise our kids.

Responsibility begins at home.

As we raise our children, we must know that they begin learning responsibility at home. Due to our deep love for our kids, we often ignorantly handicap them. We do this by making everything easy for them, and lowering the standard down to their desire. As we teach our kids responsibility, we cannot expect for them to always get it. That often get us, as parents.

At times, they will get it. Other times, they won’t. Many times, they will understand, though they will still reject it. Human nature is to seek out the easy way. We want to do what we want to do, especially kids, though as we mature we should outgrow this thinking.

Responsibility leads to maturity.

Doing hard things leads to growth and maturity. This is where teaching our kids responsibility also grows us, as parents. First of all, it encourages us to also ensure we are handling our responsibilities; but secondly, it requires us to grow and do the hard thing, not the understood thing.

Teaching our kids responsibility, whether they get it or not, requires maturity within the parent. Many kids easily manipulate their parents, causing the parent to feel guilty when doing the right thing. Through their crafty, self-centered manipulation, they cause parents to feel bad when doing right, thereby leading them to wrong and not teach responsibility.

Teaching responsibility may not always feel good.

As we focus on teaching responsibility while raising our kids, we have to know that it won’t always feel good. It may not feel good for them or for us. We must stay focused on the goal, though. Parenting is not about feeling good, but rather it is about doing good and preparing our kids for life. Handling responsibilities is an inevitable aspect of life. We must do good within our parenting so that our kids can grow to do good in their lives.

“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peacable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”
– Hebrews 12:11

Teaching responsibility prepares our kids for the long-term. Life is a marathon, not a sprint, and living effectively will require responsibility. All that we gain requires management. These are the lessons that responsibility teaches our kids. Though they start out only gaining, as they grow, they should grow in managing.

Responsibility teaches stewardship.

All that God gives us requires stewarding. We must manage what we have. If we don’t, we will lose it. Be it our health, finances, or our jobs. The list goes on. These are the lessons that our kids begin learning when we focus on teaching them responsibility.

Certainly, we match the lesson for their age and ability, and as their ability increases, so should their responsibility. The focus should not just be on the action, but we must also take the time to teach them the lesson and importance behind the action.

Lastly, responsibility teaches humility.

Our kids desire control. They try to control circumstances by manipulating, crying, lying. They learn at an early age that a cry gets our attention. Unfortunately, they don’t stop this game when they are off the bottle. Though they are no longer on a bottle, they still remember the method. In their minds, they only need to cry and whine to get us to yield to their every request.

As parents, we must mature.

We must mature and begin teaching our kids that they are not in control. They must understand the order of authority in the home, them being at the bottom of the authority totem pole. As we teach them responsibility, we teach them to obey, to trust, and to honor their father and mother; which is God’s way.

Not only does this instill humility within the parent/child relationship, it is instilling humility that will be needed for their own individual relationship with God. This will spill over into other important relationships, such as: student/teacher, athlete/coach, employee/boss, wife/husband.

Though teaching responsibility may not always feel good, we must remember as parents, that it is for their good. Teaching our kids responsibility will not only teach them to take care of what God has given them, but it will lay a foundation that they will build their lives upon. Through it all, we want our kids to grow in understanding that being responsible and a good manager over what God has given, is a way that we show our gratitude and appreciation for God’s goodness in our lives.