I don’t think we always understand how huge it is to have someone’s child. Our culture has told us that it’s okay to have children outside of wedlock, and although it certainly happens, it should never be our goal. The goal should be to marry before kids.
Having kids with someone keeps you connected to them, even when you’d like to disconnect the relationship. When you have kids with someone they are entitled to a certain level of knowledge about your life that they probably wouldn’t have if you didn’t have a kid(s) together.
It’s important to remember that if you are no longer with the kid’s mother or father then there is a reason why. If they had your complete best interest at heart you’d probably still be with them. So, if they didn’t have it then why would they have it now that you are no longer together? For this reason it is very wise to limit the information that you share with that individual. It may be wise to be cordial- not personal.
We’ve all seen or heard of situations where a parent manipulates the child in an attempt to hurt the other parent. This manipulation comes in many forms and is not always easy to detect. One parent may subtly criticize one parent, or even hype themselves up as a way of making themselves appear better than the other parent.
Regardless of the different dynamics that you may face, it is imperative to turn from negativity.
Never put energy into situations that are obviously negative and unfruitful. As tough as it can be, it may be beneficial to simply ignore and overlook a lot. Otherwise, you will find yourself in a constant whirlwind of drama.
Though it can be difficult to ignore idiotic behavior, the benefit of this is that you will have tons of energy to put into things that will bring you back good fruit.
Lastly, pray. Pray for strength, wisdom, and understanding. Pray that the Lord will guide you and keep your heart pure so that you do not become bitter and vengeful.
Don’t be overcome by evil, but rather overcome evil with good. It’s not easy but oh so necessary if you want your household to be persevere and overcome.
“Recompense to no man evil for evil. Provide things honest in the sight of all men. If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men. Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Therefore if thine enemy hunger, feed him; if he thirst, give him drink: for in so doing thou shalt heap coals of fire on his head. Be not overcome of evil, but overcome evil with good.”
– Romans 12:17-21
