Life is full of disappointments. Things not going our way, people letting us down, plans falling completely apart. How do you handle these let downs? It’s natural to feel disappointment or anger when things don’t go our way, but we cannot stop there. We must learn how to pick up where we are and keep moving forward. We cannot allow disappointments to keep us disappointed. Read for 5 tips on how to encourage yourself and recover from disappointments.
How To Encourage Yourself: 5 Tips
1. Be Honest
The first step in encouraging yourself is that you must be honest about your current feelings. Honesty can be vulnerable, which is why we often avoid it. We are not naturally comfortable expressing our weaknesses with others, often due to past hurts. Even if you cannot be honest with others, be honest with the Lord. He is a safe space. We can pour out our true hearts and feelings to Him. He knows anyway; this just give us the ability to get it out of us. The first step in encouraging yourself after disappointment is to be honest about how you really feel.
Let me add: Do not do this with just anyone. Don’t vent about your feelings inappropriately or in the wrong setting. Don’t lash out. Wisdom and self-control are key.
2. Allow Yourself to Feel
I remember when the only feeling I used to feel was anger. Something would always make me mad. No matter the situation, anger was my go-to emotion. As we grow in emotional maturity, however, we should experience a wider range of emotions. As we are recovering from disappointment, we should allow ourselves to feel. We should be able to name the emotions. It could be surprise, disappointment, anger, bitterness, confusion, etc. No one is exempt from feeling certain emotions. Feeling these emotions is humbling and necessary, as we are reminded of our humanity and dependency on God.
Note: We don’t want to get stuck in our feelings, but we do want to allow ourselves to feel.
3. Pull Close to God
This is the most important step, and the step that will allow us to do all the other steps in a healthy way. Pulling close to God will allow Him to regulate our emotions, guiding us through the process. Pulling close to God will allow us to see His perspective in the situation, as well as the lessons that He is teaching us. As we pull close to God, we are able to move through the emotional process, without getting stuck. The emotions that we feel are often due to a self-centered focus. Perspectives such as: “Why me?” are due to us focusing on self, and lead. However, there is always a spiritual focus in the midst of our disappointments. Pulling close to God will grant us clarity through the spiritual lens.
4. Watch Your Influences
When you are disappointed or let down, you are in a vulnerable state, and will likely be looking all around for encouragement. When recovering from disappointment, we must watch our influences. We cannot be open to just any and all advice. We must protect ourselves from influences that are not of God. Only the Lord knows the plans that He has for us [Jeremiah 29:11], so we must be mindful of tip 3, and pull close to Him. We must also be mindful of the people we are spending time with. We want to avoid those who speak negatively over us, leading us into a deeper state of despair; and spend time with those who will encourage us in the Lord, reminding us of God’s goodness in our lives.
5. Keep Moving Forward
Disappointments try to stop us. No matter what has happened, we must keep moving forward. Daily, we must take steps of progress, starting with spending time with God. I have found that God has a way of making sense of all disappointments. I’ve had some disappointments in life, but every time, as I’ve pulled close to God, He provided me with clarity. As time goes on, we tend to understand more and more of why things happened the way they did.
In the moment, we may not understand it, but as we trust God and keep moving forward, we will likely gain a better understanding of why things happened the way they did. We will begin to see the goodness and protection of God, in what we first saw as a disappointment.
Through it all, we must trust.
Though we often trust in ourselves or others, to a certain extent, the situations of life (especially disappointments), bless us with opportunities to trust God. We are instructed all throughout scripture to trust Him, and I’m finding that disappointments are often unexpected, yet perfect opportunities to do so.
So, no matter what you are feeling or experiencing today, I pray that you see it as an opportunity to trust God and allow Him to guide you through the process back to encouragement in Him.
He is faithful!
“Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
– Proverbs 3:5-6
Read When No Means Yes
