How well do you control your emotions? This is an area that the Lord is actively growing me in. Not just controlling them, but growing in understanding them in myself as well as in others. If we are going to follow Christ and be all that He has created us to be, we must grow in being able to control our emotions.
What disturbs your peace? Steals your joy? Throws you off?
These are the things that we must begin paying attention to. We must pay closely to the emotion that is aroused within us, as well as the ‘why‘ that triggered the emotion. The worse thing we can do is continually allow the same triggers and emotions to control us. That would not only hinder our progress but also cause us to self-sabotage our lives.
Most of the time, the people pressing our buttons are not our enemies.
We have an enemy behind the scenes orchestrating and plotting our demise [John 10:10]. Satan will not only use sin to destroy us; he will use anything. He works to even use our blessings against us! This is crucial for us to see. As God blesses us, we mustn’t think that we’re off the hook as it relates to Satan’s attacks. He attacks our blessings, and he often succeeds in deceiving us when we don’t see him working behind the scenes.
This happens so often within marriages. The Lord blesses us with marriage for our benefit as well as our long-term growth. We must come to the understanding that marriage is a tool that God uses to grow us. Actually, with the proper mindset, we understand that God uses everything in our lives to grow us. Though we so often chase comfort; God is focused on conforming- Conforming us to the image of His Son.
“For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren.”
– Romans 8:29
Our emotions are often indicators of areas where God is growing us.
Instead of submitting to the emotion and justifying the reason for our emotional outbursts, we must begin to analyze our emotions to determine what they are revealing about us. In order to analyze our emotions, we must grow in being able to control our emotions. The only way to control our emotions is to yield to the Holy Sprit within us. A fruit of God’s Spirit is self-control. The power of the Holy Spirit is greater than our emotions, therefore, the Holy Spirit within us is able to prevent our emotions from controlling us.
3 Tips for Controlling Your Emotions
1. Silence
This has been huge for me lately. In order to prevent an outburst that I’ll regret later, I’ve been choosing silence. Others may not understand it and may even attempt to get me to speak, but there are times that I know (if no one else knows) that silence is the best choice right now. Even as I type this, I give God glory, because He has brought me a mighty long way.
Though I know that silence is not the end goal, it’s the best I have right now. Before, I would lash out. Now, I momentarily choose silence. Later, I know that God will allow me to speak productively, calmly, and lovingly- in the moment. Oh, what a day! I seriously look forward to this.
2. Step Back
In order to better understand your emotions so you can control them, you must step back. This will provide you the space to clearly and quietly think through things. Step back so you calm down and assess the situation as objectively as you can. Pray. Turn to the Lord and ask Him to help you with processing everything. Do what works for you during this time. Lay down, walk, work out, journal, read God’s Word. Whatever you do, do it with the goal of processing your emotions in a healthy way.
3. Approach
Growth in controlling your emotions does not mean that you avoid situations that trigger you. Growth in controlling your emotions means approaching these situations as best as you can. A huge necessity:
Humility.
Humility will allow us to approach frustrating situations the right way and in the right time. We don’t ever want to take on the mindset of running from challenges. That will prevent us from growing and progressing in life. In order to be more and do more, we must grow. In order to grow, we must face our challenges.
At different points during our journey, we won’t feel as confident. When we always feel confident, we aren’t growing. It is in those times that we’re stagnant, often fooling ourselves into thinking we’re good. Growth will always challenge and push us. It will often feel as if the situation is asking more than we’re capable of giving. That’s a good sign. Those are the situations that cause us to depend upon God.
Approaching these situations with humility will also bless our relationships. It is in those times that we’re communicating to others that we don’t have it all together, yet we’re committed to keep working and keep growing. No matter how you feel, please know that with Christ, you can control your emotions. I pray that you begin to depend on Him so He can make it a reality in your life. He’s able. He’s doing it for me, as we speak.
With love,
