In life, we often find ourselves challenged, oppressed, or even attacked. These attacks range from internal to external, sometimes involving just us; other times involving others. There are so many variables in life, which can make it difficult to know how to move forward. Our enemy loves to create confusion for us, which causes us not to see things as they actually are. He often causes us to look at people as the enemy, leading us to fight them. Even if you are being attacked by people, sometimes the strategy is: Don’t fight back. Read on for 5 tips when facing resistance from others.
1. Stay silent.
When we are challenged or even attacked by others, we will experience a wide range of emotions, from: confusion, anger, bitterness, resentment, or even vengeance. We want to exercise self-control when we are being challenged, to avoid saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, to the wrong person.
“A fool vents all his feelings,[a]
Proverbs 29:11
But a wise man holds them back.“
It is foolish to vent all of our feelings, but there is wisdom is self-control.
I have learned that all of my feelings are not right. Self-control and wisdom, governed by the Holy Spirit, has preserved my reputation, by keeping me calm- in the midst of frustration. The #1 tip when experiencing challenges and attacks is to stay silent, to avoid doing unrepairable damage. Though it will be hard, don’t fight back.
We must never forget that our enemy seeks to steal, kill, and destroy [John 10:10]. He is very clever in his schemes. So often, he knows that he only needs to trigger us to react, and then we will do the destroying.
This is why, when triggered, we must put a guard over our mouths.
2. Seek counsel from the Lord.
When we are experiencing attacks from others, we MUST prioritize seeking counsel from the Lord. So often, we so quickly turn to others to seek counsel, not always realizing that we are now gossiping and spreading our problem to others.
It takes maturity to resolve conflict in a healthy way. When we are in relationships with others, whether in our personal or professional life, we should always aim for sincerity and peace. Sharing our conflict with others not involved, leads to division- not peace and resolution.
Seeking counsel from the Lord allows us to gain a better, higher perspective; not another flawed, human perspective. When we turn to the Lord, He objectively speaks to the situation- allowing us to see not just the faults of others, but also our own.
Seeking counsel from the Lord leads to humility and unity, not further division and conflict.
3. Don’t fight back.
This can be hard. When you are a fixer, confronter, and resolver; it is easy to want to address issues head-on. This, though seemingly right, can be very wrong.
Our conflicts often feel personal and something that should be addressed and resolved. However, it may not be as simple or natural. Sometimes, the conflict is not personal or natural [meaning to be addressed in the physical realm], but rather the conflict is spiritual.
In other words: There are some situations that no matter what you do, there will be a conflict. In those situations, the battle is spiritual and must be fought spiritually- not personally or naturally.
Though we like to figure things out or simplify them to something we can fix, not all conflicts are that simple in nature. Some conflicts run deep. Deeper than we could ever imagine. Sometimes the conflicts that we are experiencing with people have less to do with us, and more to do with the state of their heart or internal state. Those battles are not ours to take up. When we do, as sometimes we do, we will find ourselves in a continual state of strife, and that is not God’s will for us.
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace, as in all churches of the saints.”
I Corinthians 14:33
4. Focus on your heart.
One thing that I’m learning about conflict and attacks, is that they always reveal where we’re at. Our natural responses and reactions reveal to us what’s within us. We often don’t get to the meat of what’s really in us without a good struggle or attack.
Though they don’t feel good, attacks are good for us.
They open our eyes to our truest state, not the state that’s displayed when all is well. Conflicts show us that which is typically hidden or lying dormant. True growth exposes it and deals with it. I have learned that the best way to respond to conflict is to focus on my own heart. This not only allows me to grow through the situation, but it also allows me to approach others more humbly, as I realize I have issues, too.
Conflict shows the weaknesses of everyone involved. We must take advantage of the opportunity and deal with what the conflict has revealed within us.
5. Focus on growth!
When oppressed or attacked, as believers and followers of Jesus Christ, our ultimate goal must be on growth. We know that God’s will is for us to be conformed to the image of Jesus Christ [Romans 8:29], yet, we don’t always know the means that He will use. Often, we miss His will for us because we are not looking to Him and seeking His counsel when attacked.
This is why we must turn to God and not people, when we are oppressed and attacked. In doing so, we open ourselves up to His perspective on the matter, which is always higher and better than our perspective [Isaiah 55:8-9].
Turning to others often reinforces our thoughts and ways, not challenges them. God will challenge us and show us where we can do better. There are times when our current ways are contributing to the strife and conflict in our lives. It’s not always other people.
As we focus on growth, we acknowledge that we are not innocent victims, but that we [just like everyone else] are in need of growth, grace, and mercy. For we’ve all sinned and fallen short of God’s grace [Romans 3:23].
