“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:” – Ecclesiastes 3:1
All of my life I’ve been silent. Either not seeing, or seeing and lacking the strength to speak. Well, I’ve reached a turning point in my life where I have everything that I need to do both- see and speak.
Now is my season to speak.
The traps have been set, the lies have been told, the conspirers conspired, all in an attempt to hide the truth. Evil motives have been hidden for years, taking advantage of the hurt, the blind, the weak, the insecure. You see, in that family there are a few ringleaders, while the majority are simply blind to the truth or too weak to speak up. My heart goes out to all, especially the blind, because they will reap what they’ve ignorantly sown. The blessing there is that the Lord does deal with us according to what we know (Luke 12:48). He is so just.
I know that the only reason I see is because the Lord chose me. I know that the only reason that I’ve been separated is because the Lord chose me. I also know that the only reason that I’m hated is because the Lord chose me.
Yes, it’s a time to speak.
I pray that as you read these words that you feel my heart, as I’m writing straight from the heart with no motive other than speaking the truth. This is for me just as it is for you. My healing is in my speaking. We remain impriosoned in our silence, while our freedom is in our speaking. By the grace of God I can speak the truth. I’m on a journey to freedom.
“And ye shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” – John 8:32
God is so perfect, mighty, and good in all His ways that He used the death of my mother to free me. From death came life. From death came truth. From death came freedom. The chains have been cut. The ties have been severed. The muzzle removed.
The anger came and went. The shock came and went. The hurt came and is gone.
I am free, and now is my time to speak.
The Lord has blessed me with a new life that although I’ve been living, I’ve been living in bondage that I didn’t even know was there until He cut the chains. I moved on but I still held on, and now the Spirit has spoken: It is finished.
The scriptures have prepared me.
“Now the LORD had said unto Abram, Get thee out of thy country, and from thy kindred, and from thy father’s house, unto a land that I will shew thee:” – Genesis 12:1
The Lord is doing a new thing with me.
“And when his brethren saw that their father loved him more than all his brethren, they hated him, and could not speak peaceably unto him.” – Genesis 37:4
“And Saul was very worth, and the saying displeased him; and he said, They have ascribed unto David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed but thousands: and what can he have more but the kingdom? And Saul eyed David from that day and forward.” – I Samuel 18:8-9
I see, I’m speaking, and I’m moving on. Following Him. Am I saying that I’m perfect? No. Was I approachable? Yes. Was I malicious? Absolutely not.
Many times I spoke, I apologized, I forgave, even encouraged it from others for restoration. All to no avail. It would take all my life, all my energy to prove who I am, who I’m not, in an attempt to make it right. But, despite all the noise, it’s not about me. It’s about the evil hidden in hearts. The motives. The envy. The insecurity. It’s much, much deeper than only the natural eye can reveal. The battle is not with flesh and blood, there is spiritual wickedness at work (Ephesians 6:12).
“For where envying and strife is, there is confusion and every evil work. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, and easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.” – James 3:16-17
For me, the guilt, the wondering, the longing, the shame, the fear, the pleasing is all done. It’s gone. I’m free. The Lord has given me a new life, a new name, a new family. I’m eternally grateful.
Now, it’s time to live & live more abundantly (John 10:10).
With sincerity and love,