Ill intent involved?

When we encounter relationship difficulties (which we all do), I feel we must always consider if there was ill intent involved.  The answer to this question will assist us with managing our relationships.

Some relational conflicts are simple misunderstandings.  For example, I did this and unknowingly hurt your feelings, and you did that and you unintentionally offended me.  These misunderstandings don’t have to ruin friendships. They should be able to be resolved with a true, heartfelt conversation.  No one meant to hurt anyone.

Now, the other type of conflicts aren’t as easy to resolve.  When people have ill intent when dealing with us, we have to use more wisdom.  When people’s hearts are revealed and we see that they truly intended to hurt us, mislead us, trick us, or deceive us, it’s a completely different story.  

I’m also coming to believe that sometimes it’s truly not even an attack targeted at us.  Sometimes people’s character’s are so flawed that they just behave a certain way, regardless of who they hurt. Think of the liar.  They lie without thinking.  They lie regardless of who they hurt or who it involves.  When they lie on you, they may not have premeditated to hurt you, they simply lied.  And that’s just what they do.

Another example- jealousy.  If someone is harboring envy in their hart it may very well come out and be directed at you, but YOU are really not the issue.  They may even create a reason to attempt to explain their anger or frustration toward you, but the root issue is the jealousy in their heart won’t let them feel favorable toward you.

These are just a few examples, I’m sure you have your own.  They key is to stop and consider the heart of people while remembering that things are not always as they appear.  Don’t be so simple to be persuaded by only the surface, or be moved by the empty words that people use.

The heart harbors many hidden things…


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