If we are contemplating marriage then one thing we must wrap our minds around is the fact that our mate has to be first. This can be a difficult thing to do, especially when it comes to children or even parents.
Marrying someone means that you are becoming one with them. This means that we should always consider our mates and how our decisions will impact them. There is no other relationship that requires us to become ONE with someone. The Bible clearly tells us that we become one with our partner:
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.” – Genesis 2: 24
Keywords for me? Leave, united, and one. We have to leave our family, unite with our partner, and then become one with them. Now, I completely understand that the uniting and the becoming of one is a process, but it is something that we should at least understand and acknowledge before entering into a marriage.
Before marriage, we unite with many other things. Friends, children, jobs, money, and the list goes on and on. But, if we are to enter into a healthy marriage we must be able to separate ourselves, make adjustments, and say “My husband must now come first.” Or, “My wife must now come first.” This is a bold statement and not everyone will understand it.
I know I’m not married yet, so there’s a lot that I don’t know, but I do believe that if people put their spouses first then there would be many less marital issues and even divorces.
We should put our partner’s feelings above the next person. We should put their preferences above the next person. We have to be bold enough to take a stand for our marriage. If we dont, who will??
Again, I’m not saying it will be easy, but I believe that if we stand for what’s right then we will reap the benefits. We may not know everything, or even how to handle every situation, but thats when we can turn to the Bible.
Be careful where you seek marriage counsel. I’ve been very careful to rely on God, The Bible, and godly counsel when it comes to my marriage concerns.
Marriage is a big deal, and if we want to succeed we better understand that our mate and our marriage must come first.