For the past week or so I’ve told myself that I’d sit and write something eloquent to tell the world I’m pregnant. Well, I am pregnant but I don’t have anything eloquent to write so let me just express myself.
The past 3 months have been an emotional roller-coaster for me. I was completely surprised and thrown off by this pregnancy. And honestly it was very hard for me to accept.
Let me tell you why…
If you have been keeping up with me (whether through my posts or in real-life), you’d know that I’ve been taking my spiritual walk very seriously. I’ve grown and learned enough to know that God knows best. I began to put extra effort into trying to do EVERYTHING His way. Well, as hard as I tried I wasn’t able to do EVERYTHING His way, because if I did I’d be perfect. And that’s another thing I’ve learned- I’m not perfect.
When I found out I was pregnant I was EXTREMELY disappointed in myself. Honestly, I was even depressed. I felt ashamed, embarrassed, and so stupid. I thought things like “How could I do this? I knew better.” At times I even felt like aborting the pregnancy would be the best way out, but I knew that would be the weak way to go.
As time went on I got strong…
I talked to those I trust and they counseled me and comforted me. I began to write and express myself, and most importantly I began to spend time with God. I prayed to Him and most certainly asked for forgiveness. God knows how much I love Him and how much I want to do right. He understands me more than I can imagine. (Just as he understands you too.)
So, after all that I’ve finally come to a place of…
PEACE! I’ve accepted it all and forgiven myself and I’m actually beginning to look forward to bringing my new bundle of joy into the world. I’m thankful to have a supportive family, wonderful relationships, a loving and forgiving God, and I’m extremely thankful to God for a good man!
We most certainly got out of order but I know that everything can still work out perfectly. Ya know there is a beautiful ending possible in every one of our lives.
Thank you for letting me express myself and thank you so much for staying connected to my site. I appreciate my readers much more than you know! After all, if you weren’t reading this I may as well just write in my personal journal. But I have readers and thats another thing that I’m thankful for.
So keep reading and I’ll keep writing because as you know- Writing makes me happy. Oh, I’m having a baby and I’m happy about that too. 🙂