1. Don’t Feel Ashamed. No one is perfect and no one has a perfect situation, no matter what it looks like. Not being with your chid’s father is not the end of the world; it could turn into the beginning a better world. Accept your situation and move forward with confidence. There are approximately 13 million single parents in the U.S. You are not alone.
2. Don’t Beg. Maybe you get financial assistance from the father and maybe you don’t. I don’t care what you get or don’t get, YOU SHOULD NEVER BEG. You should ask, maybe once or twice, but then just move on from there. Don’t give into the anger and cause drama. Yes, he should help you financially but if he doesn’t don’t you dare beg. Just remember that we all have to deal with the consequences of our actions, and God will provide for you and your baby/babies.
3. Don’t Become A Statistic. Being a single mother does not automatically mean that you rely on government assistance. I understand that we all may need help at certain times, but don’t give into the stereotypes that you’re entitled to food stamps and other assistance. Remember, you’re in control of your life. Work hard, set goals, and don’t let baby mama stereotypes define you.
4. Don’t Go Backward. If you are with your child’s father stay with him as long as you can. And stay faithful. That way if or when you decide to leave you will have plenty of reminders of why not to go back. Sometimes we get lonely and think “Well what if…”, but the moment you think about going back you better remember what you’d be going back to. Move forward, not backward, and make your next move your best move.
5. Don’t Abandon Your Dreams. Being a parent doesn’t mean you can’t achieve your dreams! Yes, you may have to work a little harder, but don’t run from the work. You should still dream, have goals, and know that you can win! Dream, work, and do whatever is necessary to make the future brighter for your child/children!
Side-note: I never refer to myself as a baby mama, but I know it’s a term of our generation so I used it for this article. I am a mother, Maraya’s mom, or any other positive phrase you can think of. I don’t encourage anyone to refer to themselves using terms that carry negative meanings. I AM NOT A BABY MAMA! 🙂