1. Enjoy Each Other!
Don’t forget what made you love him in the first place! Continue to date one another and spend time with one another- even if it is just going for a walk around your neighborhood.
Don’t become complacent and think “I’ve got the ring now so I can chill.” No, remember what you did to get him… whatever that may be and keep it up because ultimately…that is how you won him.
Have quality time with each other once a week or at least twice a month depending on schedules. Go on some type of date, talk, or just enjoy each other. Remember the first year is very crucial to your marriage!
And, make sure you keep it interesting in the bedroom! Have fun! You’re only a newlywed once right?!
2. Remember Your Role!
Ladies, when you first enter into your relationship make sure you know what your man requires. Does he expect you to cook every night, clean, give him a massage when he walks in the door, be in charge of getting the bills paid? Know what he expects from you. There should be no misunderstanding of what your role is.
When you accept the ring and become engaged what you are really saying is “You have told me what you expect and I gladly accept.” When you say I do, you will start exercising your role (if you are not already).
There should be no arguments or questions… just step into your role. Make sure you don’t overstep your boundaries and try to fulfill his role. You do not wear the pants and unfortunately are not the “head.” Have a seat, sit back, relax, and allow him to be the man he has vowed to be.
You are there to support, love, and be his help meet, partner, and friend. Do not think for one second that you can get married and then start “changing roles.” He is the head and you are his helper. Unless he asks for help, don’t give it. Let him be the man and show that he can handle his duties. At this point, it should be clear what you expect from each other.
3. Respect His Family!
Don’t forget that marriage/relationships are all about compromise! The wife and husband both have to be committed to compromising. Figure out which holidays you will spend with which family. Make sure you value his family’s rituals and traditions. Don’t EVER make him feel like your family is more important than his.
Before marriage you did everything with your own families, but now that you have become one you must focus on treating both families with equal importance. Talk everything out to make the best decisions. Figure out if his family values a holiday that may not be as important to your family.
You didn’t marry his family, however whatever is important to him should be important to you. Remember, you are his wife… Your duty is to make him happy (and vice versa).
4. Finish What You Started!
Remember when you met him you cooked every night, cleaned before he came over because you wouldn’t dare have him see your house dirty, and you made sure you always smelled good, and wore that 1 thing he loved?
Don’t forget these things! When you get married you may sometimes think…. “Oh I got the ring now I can rest!”
No ma’am. This is when you really kick into gear. When you get married it’s not time to take a rest; this is the time to show him that you were serious about everything you showed him when you all were just dating.
Ladies, men sometimes wonder if the “real you” is going to come out! He may think that when he gets married all the good stuff is going to stop. Prove him wrong!
Don’t date a man and cook, clean, do laundry, walk the dogs, give weekly/daily massages, even run bathwater and then get married and stop….. Can you say DIVORCE!?
If you don’t intend keeping it up then….WARNING….DO NOT START!
He married you for all of those qualities so what do you think will happen when you start removing those things?? Think about it…. What you won’t do another will!
5. Be Smart!
Don’t try to keep up with the Jones’. Planning is a very important part of the first year of marriage. Don’t get intimidated by the things that other couples may already have.
Always keep in mind that you are just starting off and things will get there with time. It is your duty to set the tone for what the rest of your marriage years will look like.
You don’t want your marriage to start out in debt and then have to spend the rest of your marriage trying to get out! Use wisdom with your spending. Remember that one of the leading causes of divorce is finances. Do not take this lightly!
Saving should be a top priority. Make sure you keep the family on an appropriate financial plan and keep an up-to-date budget to ensure you remain on the right path.
Only buy what is needed and do not make a habit of loaning money. Use this first year to build your household. This should be your first priority before anything else.
Remember, your marriage is first- everything else is second.