1. Don’t fall in love too soon. Sometimes as ladies we are heads over heels for a man before we even fully know him. We mustn’t allow our emotions to lead us before we have enough information.
2. Get to know him fully. There is so much to a person and we must be intentional to get to know him. Know his past, his prior relationships, his goals, his values. Question him like your life depends on it. Don’t throw them all out at once, but gradually you should be getting to know more about him. Men can be protective so this can be somewhat difficult; but no matter what you should get to know him fully.
3. Don’t be easy. Be smart and let him know that you are not easy. This will separate the flock considerably. Don’t be difficult and rude, but don’t be easy and naïve. There is a fine balance that we must walk, but the point is to let him know that you are not easy. Most men do not take easy women very seriously.
4. Don’t compromise your values. This is so huge. NEVER, I repeat, NEVER be with a man who encourages you to compromise your values. If you see signs of this early on, cut the relationship off. Our mate should not have conflicting values as us. We won’t see everything the same, but there are certain core values that we should agree on. You do not want to get into a relationship where you have to battle doing what he wants compared to doing what you want or what you feel is right. You should be able to stick to your values without it being an issue for him at all.
5. Be happy single. Let him know that although you do desire a relationship, you do currently enjoy your life. If you don’t currently enjoy your life, the last thing you need is a relationship. A relationship should ADD value to our life. It should not be the source of our happiness.
6. Don’t be desperate. The right relationship will come at the right time so don’t stress. Don’t be overly eager to get into a relationship because you may get into one that is not right. Don’t be clingy and don’t appear to be desperate. Men sense this. Being desperate will attract just anyone, not the RIGHT one.
7. Know what you want! Oh my goodness this is another huge one and unfortunately it is one that us women overlook a lot of times. Just last year I wrote a list of what I want in my man. If we are not careful we will accept anything. Before I wrote my list the 2 things that had to be there were 1- You had to respect me and 2- You had to treat me well. Of course now I realize that there is so much more to it than that. So sit down, consider what you want in your man, write it down, and stick to it. Stick to it because there will be many men that you came across that may be ‘nice’ but they are not what you want or need. Stick to what you want. Here are a few things off my list: faith-filled, loves God, respectful, humble, not materialistic, and responsible. I often read this list aloud to remind myself (and God) what I want in my husband.
8. Take care of yourself. No one else will do this. Taking care of yourself goes hand in hand with loving yourself. Loving yourself is key to finding someone who will love you. We must take care of ourselves so that we can give a man something to love. Now, hear me clear on this- We must focus on our inner beauty and our outer beauty. Don’t spend an excessive amount of time on your exterior and very little time on your inner beauty. Both our inner beauty and our outer beauty will attract the right man.
9. Don’t be too sexy! Another huge one. We can’t show the entire world what we have. We must leave something to the imagination. I’m not saying we have to wear long gowns and cover every inch of our skin, but we also shouldn’t show off every curve and feature that we have. If you are wearing a dress that is semi-short, then it shouldn’t also be tight. Be strategic with your appearance because it shapes your image. Your image controls what people think of you and how they will approach you. When you get dressed, ask yourself “What would people think of me by just looking at me?” Remember, we want a man that will make us apart of his entire world. If we are too sexy we may be limiting ourselves.
10. PROGRESS! After a break-up it’s necessary for you to take a break, reflect on that relationship, so that the next one will be your best one. We should not be continually facing the same issues in our relationships, and we certainly shouldn’t go from good to bad. We should be progressing in life and within our relationships. Learn from the failures and move forward expecting something even better. PROGRESS!