LOVE: I’m changing my approach


I’m changing my attitude on love. I just read an article in Ebony that has really got me evaluating myself. It was titled “SINGLE SISTERS: 5 MISTAKES That Can Keep You From The Altar.” The 5 mistakes were:

1. You’re chasing the “bad boy” (AKA the wrong man).

2. You’re too shy (or too proud) to make the first move.

3. You’re desperate to be a wife- and it shows.

4. You’re too cynical.

5. You’re excluding worthy candidates.

Good stuff, huh? I really had to stop and look within. I laughed when I read the characteristics of the ‘detective’ and the ‘picky picker’. According to the article, the detective is “a woman who is constantly searching for that perfect man who will be enough to fulfill all of her needs; and the picky picker is a woman who finds a suitable man and then jumps at the chance to pick him apart piece-by-piece.” I have been guilty of both of these, and so have my friends!

Sometimes we do things ignorantly, simply because we don’t know any better. Or, we’re still in that stage of our lives where we picture our love will transpire like one out of a Disney fairy-tale. Fortunately (or unfortunately) I’m moving out of the Disney fairy-tale wishing stage into the stage where I’m accepting that my mate won’t be perfect, but he will be perfect for me.

With time I’ve become much less critical. I’m starting to ask my friends what they think less, while spending more time considering what will make me happy. I also have been examining mistakes that I’ve made while dating, signs I overlooked, mistakes that I refuse to make again.

Sometimes as women we approach love with a check-list. I’m a pretty orderly person, but I’m starting to realize that love has no set rules or regulations. With love, most of the time we learn by experience.

Sometimes we give our all and get nothing in return. We invest in someone who isn’t worthy, or we settle and receive way less than we’re worth.

No matter how many times I fail, I will never stop loving. I will love, leave, love, then leave again until right timing, the right Margo, and the right man collide.

I’m looking within and changing my approach on love. There is success in my future, I just know it.


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